Module 3-4 Years Old

Unskoolify: Maa Ki Mamta Ka School

Parenting Guide for Ages 3–4 (36–48 Months)

Skill-Based Learning | Activity-Based Development | Value Education | Scientific Nurturing

Table of Contents

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Introduction – Embracing the Journey from 3 to 4 Years

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Chapter 1: 36 Months – The Curious Little Explorer

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Chapter 2: 37 Months – Growing Imagination and Vocabulary

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Chapter 3: 38 Months – Play, Pretend, and Learn

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Chapter 4: 39 Months – Fostering Independence

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Chapter 5: 40 Months – Big Emotions and Empathy

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Chapter 6: 41 Months – Social Butterflies

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Chapter 7: 42 Months – The “Why?” Phase Peaks

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Chapter 8: 43 Months – Skills and Confidence

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Chapter 9: 44 Months – Little Storyteller at Play

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Chapter 10: 45 Months – Ready for Preschool Adventures

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Chapter 11: 46 Months – Building Values and Habits

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Chapter 12: 47 Months – Creative and Curious Minds

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Chapter 13: 48 Months – Four and Fabulous

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Conclusion – The Journey Ahead

Introduction

Parenting a 3- to 4-year-old is a journey filled with wonder, challenges, and heartwarming moments. As your child grows from 36 months to 48 months, they transform from a toddler into a more independent preschooler. This guide, “Maa Ki Mamta Ka School,” is here to support you through each step of this important year. It is rooted in Unskoolify’s core principles – skill-based learning, activity-based development, value education, and scientific nurturing – blending expert research with the warmth of a mother’s love.

In these early years, children’s brains form connections at an astonishing rate (over a million neural connections each second!). What we do as parents during this time lays the foundation for our child’s future learning, health, and behavior. This book will provide month-by-month developmental milestones and practical parenting guidance for ages 36 to 48 months. By understanding what to expect each month, you can nurture your child’s growth with confidence and calm.

Why focus on 3 to 4 years? By 3, most children can run, climb stairs, pedal a tricycle, and make short sentences. By 4, they become chatterboxes full of questions, imaginative play, and budding social skills. This

period is often when parents notice huge leaps in language (“Why? Why? Why?” all day!), creativity (inventing imaginary friends), and self-reliance (“I do it myself!”). It’s a time when your little one’s personality blooms, and they need your gentle guidance to navigate new experiences and feelings.

In each chapter of this guide, you’ll find:

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Developmental Milestones: What your child might be doing at that month – physically, cognitively,

socially, and emotionally. These are general guides (every child is unique!) to help you know what changes to look for. We include both global research and Indian cultural context for relevance.

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Daily Routines: Tips on structuring your child’s day – from meals and naps to playtime – to provide a

comforting rhythm. Children thrive on routine and predictability, and we’ll suggest healthy habits (like adequate sleep and active play) to include in their daily schedule.

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Communication Cues: How to talk with (not just to) your child and understand their budding language. We’ll highlight ways to encourage their speech and listen to their thoughts – whether they’re telling a simple story or asking endless questions.

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Emotional Support: Advice on handling tantrums, fears, and big feelings with empathy. Positive

parenting strategies – like getting down to your child’s eye level, naming their feelings, and offering hugs and reassurance – help build their emotional intelligence. We’ll share techniques backed by experts (for example, using calm words instead of yelling, and no spanking or shaming, as recommended by pediatricians).

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Recommended Toys & Books: Age-appropriate toys and books to stimulate learning and joy. From

building blocks and puzzles that build fine-motor and problem-solving skills, to storybooks that ignite imagination and teach values, each month we have suggestions (including Indian stories and global classics). Play is how children learn best, and we focus on activity-based development through play.

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Science-Based Activities: Simple, fun activities grounded in science and evidence-based learning – what we call scientific nurturing. You don’t need fancy equipment; everyday play like mixing colors, observing plants grow, or counting stars can spark curiosity and cognitive development. We’ll incorporate global best practices (like those from UNICEF and child development experts) into these activities.

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Family Rituals & Values: Ideas to strengthen family bonds and instill values. These might include

cultural practices (festivals, stories from grandparents), daily rituals like family meals or bedtime stories, or weekly traditions like a weekend nature walk. Such routines make a child feel secure and teach them values like empathy, gratitude, and respect (core to value education in Unskoolify’s philosophy).

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“Maa Ki Class” – Weekly Wisdom: Special sections in each chapter that offer emotional wisdom and real-life scenarios. Think of these as mini storytelling sessions or parent-to-parent chats – a mother’s class of love. “Maa Ki Class” might present a common parenting challenge for that stage (for example, handling a stubborn refusal to share, or the first day of preschool jitters) and share how a wise, loving “maa” might handle it. These are drawn from real experiences and are meant to reassure you that you are not alone in these struggles and joys.

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Reflection Points: At the end of each chapter, we provide a moment of reflection for you, the parent. Parenting is as much a journey for the parent as for the child. A brief question or thought is posed to

help you pause and appreciate the journey – to celebrate successes, acknowledge challenges, and remind yourself that you’re doing your best.

Through a warm, conversational tone, this book blends expert-backed advice with the emotional touch of Indian parenting. You will see references to research and global parenting tips (so you know the

guidance is credible), alongside anecdotes and examples that resonate with Indian culture (like dadi-nani ke nuskhe – grandma’s tips – and using mother tongue in stories). We want you to feel as if an expert and a caring friend are by your side as you navigate year “3 to 4” of Maa’s little student’s life.

Let’s begin this beautiful journey of Unskoolify Parenting – where every moment is a teaching moment, and every day is a new class in “Maa ki Mamta ka school”. Remember, your love is your child’s first school. With that love, guided by knowledge and sprinkled with fun, you can help your 3–4-year-old thrive. So take a deep breath, grab a cup of chai, and get ready to explore the world through your little one’s eyes!

Chapter 1: 36 Months – The Curious Little Explorer

At 36 months old, your toddler has officially turned 3 – welcome to the world of threenagers! This is a big milestone for your child and for you. Three-year-olds are bursting with energy and curiosity. You might notice your little one climbing everything in sight, running without fear, and maybe even pedaling a tricycle with pride. They are explorers, testing their physical abilities and boundaries. Don’t be surprised if you hear a constant stream of chatter now – by 3, children often speak in short sentences and can be understood by others most of the time. The word “why” might be making an appearance as they begin to question the world around them.

Developmental Milestones at 36 Months: By the end of the third year, many children can do remarkable things. Your child can likely walk up stairs one foot at a time, run easily, and kick a ball without losing balance. Their fine motor skills are improving too – perhaps they can build a tower of 6+ blocks or even hold a crayon to draw rough circles and lines. Cognitively, they understand simple concepts: they know what “two” means (so you can try counting small sets of objects with them). Make-believe play is a big theme now; you might find your child serving “chai” from an empty cup or talking on a toy phone – their imagination is blossoming. Socially, three-year-olds start to play near other children and imitate playmates, though true sharing is still hard. The concept of “mine” is very strong at this age, so don’t worry if your child struggles to take turns – patience and gentle coaching will help them learn sharing over time.

Daily Routine and Health: A consistent daily routine gives your 3-year-old a sense of security. At this age, they typically need about 10–13 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period (including an afternoon nap). You might start noticing that some 3-year-olds resist nap time – that’s okay. If your child won’t nap, ensure an earlier bedtime or a quiet “rest time” midday. A sample daily schedule could be:

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7:00 AM: Wake up, cuddle and morning milk.

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8:00 AM: Breakfast (let them self-feed finger foods to build motor skills).

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10:00 AM: Active play time outdoors (park or backyard) – running, kicking a ball, climbing (always

supervised).

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12:30 PM: Lunch (perhaps involve your child in a small task like picking a fruit). •

1:30 PM: Nap or quiet time (story time, puzzles if not napping). •

3:00 PM: Post-nap snack (fruits, yogurt) and free play.

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4:00 PM: Structured activity – e.g., drawing, play-dough, or helping you with a simple chore. •

6:30 PM: Family time – maybe a short walk or play with siblings.

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8:00 PM: Dinner together as a family. Encourage your child to try feeding themselves and talk about the day.

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9:00 PM: Bedtime routine – brush teeth, change into pajamas, a calming bedtime story or lullaby. At 3, a consistent bedtime routine is key to smoother nights.

This routine covers the basics: meals, active play (3-year-olds have a lot of energy – ensure plenty of physical play to tire those little muscles), quiet time, and family bonding. Tip: If possible, have at least one meal a day as a family. Three-year-olds learn table manners by watching you. They also feel included and secure seeing the family together, which is valuable in Indian culture where family bonds are paramount.

Communication Cues: At 36 months, your child’s vocabulary is expanding rapidly. They may know hundreds of words and use 3-5 word sentences like “Mommy go market” or “I want more juice”. When they speak or ask questions, make eye contact and respond meaningfully – this shows them that their voice matters. Encourage them to express their needs in words: if they point to a toy on a shelf, gently prompt, “Do you want the teddy? Say ‘teddy please’.” They might mix up pronouns (“Me do it!”) or make cute grammar mistakes – that’s normal. Model correct usage without directly criticizing them (e.g., if they say “Me want eat,” you can respond “You want to eat? Okay, let’s eat.”). Reading is one of the best ways to boost language now: continue reading storybooks daily. Three-year-olds love hearing the same story repeatedly – repetition helps them learn new words and narrative structure. You can ask simple questions about the story (“Where is the cat?” or “What color is the ball?”) to engage them. Remember to pause and listen when your child speaks to you, even if it’s something small. This respect for their words builds their confidence in communication.

Emotional Support: Three-year-olds experience big emotions in a still-small body. Tantrums may continue (the “terrible twos” can extend into threes!). At 36 months, children often cannot fully explain or control their feelings – they may hit when angry or cry loudly when frustrated. Your role is to be their emotional anchor. Stay calm and acknowledge their feelings: “I see you’re upset because we have to leave the park. I know it’s hard to stop playing.” Naming the emotion (“upset,” “angry,” “sad”) helps them learn to identify feelings. Set gentle but firm limits: if they hit or throw in a tantrum, hold their hands and say calmly, “I won’t let you hit. You can tell me you’re mad, but hitting hurts.” After the storm passes, offer a hug. This approach, often called positive parenting, is shown to help children develop better self-control and trust. Avoid yelling or any form of physical punishment – it might stop the behavior in the moment but doesn’t teach the child why or what to do instead. In fact, experts like the AAP emphasize explaining and guiding behavior, not spanking. An example: instead of just saying “No running indoors!”, you could say “We walk inside the house. If you want to run, let’s go run in the garden.” This way you’re giving them an alternative for their energy.

Common emotional challenges at 3 include separation anxiety (some 3-year-olds suddenly get clingy at preschool drop-off or when you leave for work). Reassure them with a consistent goodbye ritual – for instance, a special kiss or handshake – and a promise like “See you after your nap, I’ll be back.” Many children calm down within 10 minutes of the parent leaving when they are used to a routine. Trust that they will adapt, and keep your tone confident and loving.

Recommended Toys & Books (36 Months): Your little explorer will enjoy toys that let them use their big imagination and active body. Some great options now: - Building blocks (wooden blocks or Duplos) – they can stack, create bridges, and improve motor skills. - Pretend play sets: A toy kitchen with plastic pots and spoons, a doctor’s kit, or even just old clothes for dress-up will fuel their imaginative play. You may find them serving you “tea” or giving their doll an injection like the doctor – this pretend play is wonderful for cognitive and social development. - Ride-on toys: a tricycle or balance bike for physical exercise and

coordination. - Simple puzzles: 3-4 piece knob puzzles or jigsaws with 6-8 pieces featuring their favorite animals or cartoon characters help with problem-solving. - Picture books: At this age, books with bright illustrations and simple stories are perfect. Some beloved options: “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” by Eric Carle (teaches counting and days of the week), “Goodnight Moon” by Margaret Wise Brown (a soothing bedtime book), or Indian storybooks like “ amma, Tell Me About Holi” (from the “Amma Tell Me” series that introduces festivals) and Panchatantra story collections (simple animal fables with morals). Read in any language you’re comfortable – if you tell the story of “The Thirsty Crow” in Hindi or your mother tongue, it’s just as valuable. The goal is to nurture a love for stories and language.

Science-Based Activity (36 Months): At 3, your child is ready for very simple “experiments” that feel like play. One idea this month: Color Mixing Magic. Take three cups of water, use food coloring or natural color (like a drop of turmeric in one for yellow, beet juice for red, and blue food color). Let your child mix yellow+red (“Wow, it makes orange!”), red+blue (purple), blue+yellow (green). This fun water play introduces cause and effect and color recognition. Another simple activity: nature sensory walk. Go outside and have your child collect different leaves, small stones, flowers. Talk about textures (smooth rock, soft petals) and colors. These science activities spark curiosity – the key to scientific nurturing is encouraging that endless curiosity.

Family Rituals & Values: Start a gentle ritual of bedtime storytelling if you haven’t already. Every night, after the lights are dim, share a short story. It could be from a book or even a made-up story about when you were little. Indian cultural tales – like a story of Birbal’s wisdom or a simple mythological tale of baby Krishna stealing butter – can introduce values like wisdom and kindness in a fun way. Don’t be afraid to get animated while storytelling; three-year-olds love dramatic voices and sound effects! Another wonderful ritual at this age is involving your child in a small daily chore as “mommy’s helper” or “daddy’s helper”. For example, every evening have them help put away their toys before dinner (make it a game: “Let’s race to put all blocks in the basket!”) or ask them to hand you clothes from the laundry basket when you’re hanging them. They beam with pride when they can help – it instills a sense of responsibility and belonging. As per child experts, giving simple chores to preschoolers boosts their self-confidence and independence.

Maa Ki Class: Week 1 – Handling “No!” with Love

In this week’s Maa Ki Class, let’s talk about that favorite toddler word: “No”. Imagine a real-life scene: Little Aarav is 3 years old (36 months) and has decided that he will NOT put on his shoes. It’s time to go to the park, and mom is ready, shoes in hand – but Aarav runs away shouting “No, no, no!” A classic standoff, right? How does Maa handle this with emotional wisdom? First, she takes a deep breath (to keep her own cool). She knows 3-year-olds say “no” not to be “bad”, but to assert their newfound independence. Maa gets down to Aarav’s eye level and gently says, “You don’t want shoes? You really want to go without shoes, huh?” Aarav pouts, “No shoes.” Instead of a lecture, Maa tries a closed-choice trick: “Okay, you want to decide. Do you want to wear the blue shoes or the red sandals?” This way, whichever he picks, his feet will be covered, but he feels in control. Aarav thinks and points to the red sandals. Victory – he’s putting them on with a smile! Lesson: Giving a toddler a small choice defuses the power struggle. When a child says “no,” try offering two acceptable options. It shows respect for their independence while you still guide the outcome. Real-life parents find this saves a lot of tears and drama. Each time you handle a “no” calmly, you’re teaching your child decision-making and cooperation.

Reflection for Parents: Three years ago, you held a tiny newborn; now you have a running, talking little person! Take a moment this week to reflect: What new trait in your 3-year-old are you most proud of? Maybe it’s how they say “thank you” in their baby voice, or how curious they are about every bug on the sidewalk.

Jot it down or share it with your partner. In the whirlwind of daily life, pausing to appreciate these little things reminds you that you are raising a wonderful human, one day at a time, with your love and patience.

Chapter 2: 37 Months – Growing Imagination and Vocabulary

Stepping into 37 months, you’ll likely notice your child’s imagination and language taking off in leaps and bounds. Three years (and one month) old might not sound very different from just-turned-3, but children are developing rapidly. You may find your little one engaging in longer conversations, asking more questions, and crafting little imaginary scenarios in their play. Each day, new words pop out of their mouth – sometimes to your surprise or amusement! (“Did my kid just say actually correctly in a sentence?!”). Their play is becoming more creative – a simple cardboard box can become a spaceship, a castle, or a cave for lions.

Developmental Milestones at 37 Months: While developmental milestones don’t dramatically change in one month, subtle progress is evident. Your 37-month-old might be speaking in sentences of 5-6 words now, adding descriptive words: “Mama, see the big dog!” They understand concepts of size (“big/small”) and quantity a bit better (“more/less”). Cognitively, they can follow a two- or three-step instruction reliably – for example, “Go to your room and bring me your shoes and hat.” If you try this and it works, that’s a big win for their listening skills! In play, you might see associative play emerging: your child plays alongside other kids and occasionally interacts (passing a toy, copying what another does), though true cooperative play and sharing might still be limited. Physically, they continue to refine coordination – they may start to stand briefly on one foot or jump forward a few inches. Little things, like jumping off the last stair or balancing on a low curb, show their growing motor confidence. Fine motor-wise, scribbling might start to have more shape; they might say “This is a car” about a drawing that to you looks like… well, scribbles. Appreciate it – their art skills are developing even if we can’t see the form clearly yet.

Daily Routine Tweaks: At 37 months, your routine from last month largely holds. Consistency is still key, but as your child’s attention span slightly increases, you can introduce small tweaks. For instance, during the post-nap quiet time, you could add a short “activity box” – a box with rotating simple activities they can do independently for 10-15 minutes. This could be matching cards (like animal picture pairs), a container of large beads to string onto a shoelace (great for fine motor control), or even a set of plastic cups to stack. Teaching them to play a little bit on their own is helpful (under supervision, of course). Another routine element to consider now is toilet training (if not fully done yet). Many 3-year-olds are either potty trained or in the final stages. If your child is dry most days, start phasing out diapers except maybe at night. Celebrate their successes (“You used the potty – high five!”) and handle accidents calmly (“Oops, next time we’ll get to the bathroom. Let’s clean up.”). In Indian families, grandparents often have their own tried-and true tips for potty training (like specific timings), so you might integrate those if they work for you – but remember, each child is different, so don’t force or scold if they aren’t ready.

Nutrition and Eating: Around this age, some children turn into picky eaters. One day they love aloo paratha, the next day they refuse it. Keep offering a variety of healthy foods without pressure. Include your 3-year-old in food choices to some extent: “Should we have bananas or apples with breakfast?” This gives them a sense of control (just like with the shoes example in Chapter 1) and can reduce mealtime battles. They can also help with simple food prep: tearing lettuce for a salad, rinsing veggies, or arranging sliced fruit on a plate. Such involvement often makes them more interested in eating what they helped prepare.

Maintain a routine of sit-down meal times; even if they eat little some days, the habit of sitting with family is valuable. Avoid using screen time as a distraction for eating – around this age it might seem like an easy fix for a fussy eater, but it can create a habit of mindless eating. Instead, engage them in dinner table conversation: “Which color did you like eating today? The orange carrots or green peas?” Make it fun.

Communication and “Why” Times: This month, you might truly feel like you have a tiny chatterbox. The “Why, What, Who” phase is in full swing by 3 years and a few months. Your child might ask questions endlessly: “Why is the sky blue?” “Who is calling on the phone?” “What are you doing, Papa?” – sometimes the same question over and over! It can test anyone’s patience, but remember, this is how they learn. In fact, research suggests preschoolers can ask an average of 100+ questions a day (some studies and anecdotal evidence say up to 300 questions!). Embrace their curiosity. Try to answer in simple terms they understand. You don’t need to lecture – a short answer suffices, and if you don’t know, it’s fine to say, “That’s a great question, I wonder too! Let’s find out together.” Maybe you look up a picture of the sky or do a mini experiment later. When you’re truly exhausted by questions, it’s okay to gently flip one back: “Why do you think the sky is blue?” This encourages their thinking process. You might get a creative answer (“Because it’s wearing a blue blanket!”) – which gives you a peek into their imaginative mind.

Also, pay attention to communication cues beyond words. Three-year-olds may sometimes “whine” or act out instead of clearly stating what they want because they are overwhelmed or don’t have the words. If you notice pre-tantrum signs (frowning, tense body, an “uhn uhn” whine), intervene with words: “You seem upset. Can you tell Mama what you need? Are you tired or angry?” Encourage them to use words like “I’m mad” or “I need help.” Teaching these phrases is part of emotional literacy.

Emotional and Social Development: At 37 months, children start showing empathy in simple ways. Your child might notice if you or someone else is sad and offer a toy or pat your arm. They also begin to comprehend when their actions hurt someone (if you explain gently). Reinforce positive social behavior: “It was so kind of you to give your friend a hug when she fell down. That made her feel better.” However, they are still learning to handle their own emotions. You might still see meltdowns when they’re overstimulated or tired. Stick to comforting routines and calm discipline. One technique for this age is playful redirection – turning a potential battle into a game. For example, if they refuse to clean up toys, you say, “I bet I can put these blocks away faster than you – ready, set, go!” Suddenly it’s a race, not a chore. Many 3-year-olds respond well to play – it diffuses tension and gets the job done.

At this stage, if your child is attending a play school or spending time with other kids, you may hear about small conflicts (“Rohan took my ball!” or “I don’t like that girl, she pushed me.”). These are normal; kids are learning social rules. Talk it through simply: “If Rohan took your ball, maybe he wanted to play too. Next time, you can tell him ‘Let’s play together’ or ask the teacher for help.” Encourage them to use polite words like “please” and “thank you” in appropriate situations. They won’t remember every time, but praise them when they do: “You said thank you to Dadi, good job! She felt happy to hear that.”

Recommended Toys & Books (37 Months): - Art supplies: Now is a great time to introduce more art – washable crayons, chunky markers, play-dough in multiple colors, child-safe scissors for supervised cutting practice. Art fosters creativity and fine motor skills. Maybe create a little “art corner” at home where they can freely scribble on big sheets of paper. - Pretend/imaginative toys: If you have space, setting up a small pretend play area can be wonderful. This could be a makeshift tent or fort (even a bedsheet over chairs) to become their “house” or “camp.” Throw in some plush toys as “friends” and watch the pretend stories unfold. They might host a tea party with their stuffed animals or pretend to go to office like mom and dad. -

Storybooks: Their listening capacity for stories is increasing. They might enjoy slightly longer picture books now. Some suggestions: “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?” by Bill Martin Jr. (helps with colors and animals), or “Spot Goes to School” by Eric Hill (lift-the-flap fun). Culturally relevant books such as “Gulab Jamun” by Sandhya Acharya (a story about two kids and their love for the Indian sweet – teaches counting and self-control in a funny way) can be both relatable and educational. And of course, continue with fairy tales or folk tales you like – just keep them age-appropriate (simpler versions, as original Grimm tales etc., can be too scary or complex). - Simple board games: Believe it or not, some 3-year-olds can start playing very basic board games, like picture lotto or a simplified snakes and ladders (with a short track). Games teach turn-taking and patience. Don’t expect full adherence to rules – the goal is the process, not winning or losing at this age.

Science Activity (37 Months): Let’s make bathtime a bit scientific! A fun activity is Sink or Float. Gather some objects (a spoon, a plastic bottle cap, a leaf, a small stone, a toy car, etc.). During bath time or using a bucket of water, ask your child for each object: “Do you think this will sink or float?” Let them drop it in and observe. They will giggle seeing a stone plunk to the bottom or a plastic cap bob on top. You can introduce words like “heavy” and “light” casually: “The stone is heavy, it sinks. The leaf is light, it floats!” This simple game introduces early science concepts of density in a way a 3-year-old can enjoy. And it nurtures their natural curiosity – they might start spontaneously testing other items (“Will my sock float?” Go ahead and see!). It’s messy, it’s fun, and it’s learning.

Family Rituals & Culture: At this stage, consider adding a weekly family ritual that your child can look forward to. For example, a “Saturday Special Breakfast” where the family makes something together – like dosas or pancakes – and your toddler helps mix batter (safe parts only) or adds toppings. Or institute a Friday Family Dance Night – play some music (maybe favorite Bollywood tunes or nursery rhymes) and dance together after dinner. Rituals like these create joyful memories and a strong sense of family unity. They also channel all that toddler energy into positive outlets. Culturally, you might start involving your 3- year-old in simple traditions: if there’s a festival coming (say, Diwali or Christmas or Eid), let them do a small role – like helping you decorate with rangoli colors (they can sprinkle flower petals), or putting baubles on a Christmas tree, or helping roll the mat for Eid prayers. These actions, though small, make them feel a part of community celebrations and start teaching them the significance of these events. For instance, while lighting a diya together, you could tell them, “This diya light means we are spreading joy and removing darkness – that’s what Diwali is about.” Simplified, but planting the seed of cultural values.

Maa Ki Class: Week 2 – When Imaginary Friends Appear

In this week’s emotional wisdom class, picture this: Little Anya, 3 years and 1 month, is playing in the living room. Mama overhears her saying, “No, Meenu, you sit here. We will have tea.” Mama peeks in, expecting to see a friend or cousin, but Anya is alone – pouring tea into two tiny cups, one for herself and one held out to…thin air. Meet Meenu, Anya’s imaginary friend! Many children around 3 or 4 create imaginary friends or companions in their pretend world. Now, a concerned parent might worry – is this normal? Maa’s wisdom: Yes, it’s normal and even healthy. In our scenario, Mama doesn’t scold or tell Anya “Stop making things up.” Instead, she gently joins the play: “May I also have tea, Anya? Is Meenu having elaichi chai or plain chai?” Anya beams and says, “Elaichi for Meenu, plain for you.” Mama plays along, and through it learns that Meenu is shy and loves cats (tidbits about Anya’s inner world). The real-life parenting insight: Embrace the imaginary friend rather than dismiss it. Often, these friends help children practice social skills, cope with new situations, or simply use creativity. If Anya blamed Meenu for spilling juice, Mama might say with a smile, “Oh, Meenu had an accident? Let’s clean it up together and tell Meenu to be careful.” By acknowledging the pretend friend, parents actually validate the child’s feelings and imagination. Of course,

set gentle limits if the imaginary friend becomes an excuse for bad behavior (“Meenu doesn’t want to share, so I won’t!” – you can respond, “In our house, everyone shares. Maybe you can show Meenu how we share.”). The key from Maa’s class: listen to the stories your child creates. They often reveal your child’s fears, desires, and understanding of the world. Imaginary friends usually fade as children grow; until then, let them be one of the many cute quirks of this magical age.

Reflection for Parents: Think back to yourself at age 3, if you can, or imagine yourself as a small child. What games or pretend scenarios did you love? Perhaps you played with utensils as toys, or made forts from sofa cushions. Now watch your 37-month-old at play for a few minutes – get on the floor and really see the world they’re creating. Reflect on how their imagination might be similar or different from what you remember. This reflection can deepen your empathy and connection. Realize that in encouraging their imagination, you’re keeping a piece of your own inner child alive and happy. Give yourself credit for creating an environment where your child’s imagination thrives – it’s a sign of emotional security and intelligence.

Chapter 3: 38 Months – Play, Pretend, and Learn

At 38 months old, your child is well into the swing of being three – confident in some ways, yet still your baby in others. This chapter of their life is characterized by rich pretend play and ever-increasing learning through play. If you watch quietly, you might catch them having entire conversations between their toys (“Mr. Bear, eat your food or no dessert!”), or acting out scenes from daily life (you might hear your own words echoed in their play – sometimes funny, sometimes eye-opening!). They are also absorbing new concepts rapidly, often without you realizing it – shapes, colors, maybe even recognizing a few letters from their name if exposed. Every day is a new adventure in their self-created “school” of play.

Developmental Milestones at 38 Months: There aren’t stark new milestones this month, but gradual improvements continue. Language-wise, many 3-year-olds around this age can string 6-7 words in a sentence and use adjectives (“I saw a funny big cat”). You may notice their grammar getting better – perhaps using plurals or the past tense (“I ate my food” might still come out as “I eated” sometimes – gently correct by modeling, not by pointing out the mistake too harshly). Their memory is improving – they can recall things that happened “yesterday” or a familiar story sequence. This might be a good time to start gently teaching numbers and counting in a playful way. They may rote count to 10 (i.e., say the numbers 1-10 from memory) even if they don’t fully understand quantity beyond a few. They also might start recognizing common shapes (circle, square, triangle) and can name a few colors reliably now. On the motor front, you might see them attempt more physical tricks: jumping off a low step, maybe brief hopping. Fine motor: they can possibly copy a simple shape like a vertical line or circle if you draw one first. By now, they likely use a spoon or fork quite well at meals (with some spills – that’s okay). Some kids at this stage show a clear hand preference (right or left), though many are still switching hands.

One interesting development around this age is self-concept – your child knows their own name, age, and whether they are a boy or girl (and might insist on it: “I am a big boy!” or “I am not a baby, I am three.”). They might start comparing: “I am bigger than my little cousin.” Encourage a healthy self-concept by affirming their unique traits: “Yes, you’re a big boy and you’re also kind and funny!” and also teaching respect: “Even if you’re bigger than cousin, you have to be gentle with him.”

Daily Life and Learning Moments: By 38 months, you can incorporate more “learning moments” into everyday life without it feeling like formal teaching. For example, involve them in cooking as a learning activity: “We need 2 cups of water – can you help me count one…two?” or “This roti is a circle shape, what shape is the bread slice?” During grocery shopping, make it a game to find colors: “Can you spot something green? Yes, the cucumber! How about something red?” These simple interactions turn routine chores into educational play.

If your child is attending a preschool program or playgroup, you might see their skills expanding – singing new rhymes, doing hand motions to songs, or bringing home little crafts. Reinforce those at home: if they learned a song, ask them to teach you – kids love playing teacher. Also at this age, kids often start showing interest in other children as playmates. Schedule a few play dates with children of similar age, if possible. Keep them short (an hour or two is plenty) and in a child-friendly space. Early playdates can be chaotic (snatching toys, parallel play), but they teach valuable social lessons. Supervise and guide gently (“Let’s give turns – 5 minutes for you, then 5 minutes for your friend on the scooter.”) Over time, they’ll get better at playing with peers.

Communication and Cognitive Growth: Continue to expand your child’s language by introducing new words in context. Don’t shy away from “big” words occasionally – children often surprise us by picking up sophisticated vocabulary if they hear it often (ever notice how a preschooler can say dinosaur names effortlessly?). If your child has a fascination (trains, animals, cooking), feed that interest with new words and books. For instance, if they love animals, teach them not just “dog” and “cat” but “elephant, kangaroo, peacock”. At 38 months, kids are like sponges – they’ll absorb whatever you expose them to, especially if it’s interesting or fun.

You might also notice they start to grasp concepts like time in a rudimentary way. “Today/tomorrow/ yesterday” might still confuse them (yesterday could mean any past event). But you can start the idea: “Today is Monday, you go to playgroup. After you sleep and wake up, it will be Tuesday and we visit Nani.” Using a calendar with stickers for important days (like a birthday or an outing) can help them visualize time passing.

Emotional Support: By now, you’ve weathered a few tantrums and likely have a sense of what triggers your child (hunger, tiredness, transitions, etc.). At 38 months, while they are slowly getting better at coping, they still need your support. This might be a good time to start introducing simple coping techniques for upset feelings. One popular method is teaching a child to take “belly breaths” or “balloon breaths” when upset: together, practice taking a deep breath in (like smelling a flower) and blowing out (like blowing a candle). Do this when they’re calm and make it a game, so that when a meltdown is brewing, you can say “Let’s do our balloon breathing together.” It won’t magically stop every tantrum, but it plants a seed for self-regulation.

Also, start labeling more nuanced feelings beyond just sad/angry/happy. Three-year-olds can learn words like “frustrated” or “scared.” For example, “You are frustrated that the puzzle piece doesn’t fit. Let’s try another way.” Or “That loud noise scared you, didn’t it? It’s okay to feel afraid. I’m here.” By validating these emotions, you teach them it’s okay to feel them and that they can talk about them. This emotional intelligence is a core part of what we mean by value education in Unskoolify – values aren’t just morals, but understanding and respecting feelings too.

Recommended Toys & Books (38 Months): - Dress-Up and Role Play: Consider adding some fun costumes or props to their playroom. It could be as simple as old scarves, hats, and sunglasses, or more specific like a

firefighter helmet or princess tiara – whatever aligns with their interests. At this age, children love to “be” someone else in play. One day your child might be a doctor with a stethoscope checking your heartbeat; the next, they’re a chef stirring an imaginary soup. These role plays boost creativity and also help them process experiences (a doctor kit play can make real doctor visits less scary). - Vehicles and Tracks: Many children around 3 love things that go – cars, trains, etc. Simple car tracks or a set of toy cars and a mat with roads drawn on can keep them engaged. They learn concepts like fast/slow, and it can be a social play if you join (“Let’s have a race!”). - Books: It’s a great age to introduce stories that have a bit more narrative. For example, “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” – it has a clear sequence and repetition that 3-year-olds enjoy (“Too hot, too cold, just right!”). Or Indian stories like “The Lion and the Mouse” (from Panchatantra) which teach a value (even little friends can be helpful). Interactive books are also a hit – ones with textures, flaps, or questions. A book like “Whose Nose and Toes?” by John Butler, where they guess animals, can be fun and interactive. - Educational toys: Large-piece jigsaw puzzles (maybe 12-24 pieces) with their favorite cartoon or animals might be attempted now with help. Also, alphabet puzzles (pieces in the shape of letters) could be introduced not to drill ABCs but as a play activity. If they show interest in letters (some kids do by late 3s), you can casually teach the letters of their name.

Science & Sensory Activity (38 Months): Let’s do a Planting Experiment. Three-year-olds love to get their hands dirty, so gardening is perfect. Take two small pots with soil. In one, plant a few mung beans or mustard seeds (they sprout quickly) and label it “water”. In the other, plant the same but secretly don’t water it, label it “no water”. Have your child help water the “water” pot each day and watch what happens over a week. The seeds should sprout in the watered pot within a few days, while the unwatered one won’t (once it’s clear nothing is happening, you can water it and sprout those too, no need to waste). Your child will be amazed to see green shoots coming out. Explain simply, “Plants need water to grow. See how the seeds we watered are growing? The ones with no water didn’t grow until we gave them a drink.” This teaches cause and effect and care for living things. You can extend it by measuring the little plants (“They are as tall as your finger!”) or drawing what you see each day. Scientific nurturing is all about encouraging observation and wonder – and kids naturally have that.

Another sensory activity: Homemade Play Dough. You can make this with 2 cups flour, 1/2 cup salt, 2 tbsp oil, 2 tbsp cream of tartar (optional) and hot water, plus food coloring – or simply buy some. But making it together is science and fun – measuring, mixing (parents handle the hot water part). Once done, the dough itself provides hours of creative, tactile play, and you can discuss how mixing ingredients made a new form.

Family and Cultural Connections: A 38-month-old can start participating more in family interactions. If you haven’t already, this might be a good time to institute a family prayer or gratitude moment. For example, before dinner or at bedtime, everyone says one thing they are thankful for that day. Your child might say adorable things like “I’m thankful for my toy car” or “I’m thankful Dalmatian (the plush dog) is my friend.” This practice nurtures a positive outlook and also introduces the idea of daily reflection – a value that’ll help them as they grow.

Culturally, you can involve them in respectful greetings – like teaching them to say “Namaste” or touch elders’ feet (pranam) if that’s part of your tradition, when seeing grandparents or at family gatherings. At 3+, they can start to remember and perform these greetings (with your gentle reminders) which instills respect for elders – a key value in Indian culture. Make it a positive experience (“Dadaji is so happy you said Namaste, see him smile!”).

Maa Ki Class: Week 3 – The First Lie?

This week’s scenario: Aarav, now 3 years 2 months, was told not to eat chocolates before dinner. Mom had kept a bar on the counter. Later she finds a chair pushed to the counter and chocolate missing, with Aarav sporting a telltale chocolate mustache. When confronted gently, “Aarav, did you eat the chocolate?” – he averts his eyes and says a soft “No.” Aha – a lie! Many parents panic or feel upset the first time their child lies. But Maa’s perspective: at this age, a “lie” is often a mix of wishful thinking and fear of punishment, not a moral failing. Three-year-olds sometimes say things that aren’t true because they wish it were so, or they realize telling the truth might get them in trouble and they’re testing boundaries. How to handle this with wisdom? In our story, Mama doesn’t scold harshly or label him a “liar.” Instead she handles it calmly but clearly. She might say, “I see chocolate on your face. I think you did eat it. It’s not okay to take chocolate without asking. If you did, you need to tell me the truth.” She keeps her tone gentle but firm. Aarav, seeing that mom isn’t yelling, admits, “I ate it.” Mama then says, “Thank you for telling the truth. Chocolate is yummy, I know. But next time, ask Mama first. Now, because you already had chocolate, we’ll have a smaller dessert after dinner.” This response does a few things: It teaches that lying is not acceptable and truth is appreciated, it enforces the rule (small consequence of no big dessert later), yet it doesn’t shame the child. Real-life tip: Avoid overreacting to little lies; instead, praise truth-telling even if it accompanies misbehavior. (“I’m glad you told me you broke the toy. Let’s see how to fix it together.”) Create an environment where your child feels safe telling the truth. As kids grow, they learn honesty from how we handle these small moments now. Maa ki advice: model honesty yourself in everyday life (kids notice if you fib to others!) and treat truth as a virtue gently. Remember, at 3, the line between imagination and reality is thin – sometimes what we see as a “lie” might be them imagining things differently. Guide them with patience.

Reflection for Parents: What has been your most challenging moment this month? Was it a tantrum in the middle of the store, or a battle over mealtime, or hearing that little “no” when you knew they did something? Take a moment to reflect not just on your child’s behavior, but on your reactions. Is there something you wished you handled differently? It’s okay – parenting is full of do-overs and lessons for us, too. Think of one small change you want to try – maybe you want to try the deep-breathing technique yourself when you feel frustration rising, or perhaps you plan to set aside your phone for an hour each day to be fully present. Your growth is part of this journey. Celebrate something you did well (perhaps you remained calm during a messy spill, or you managed to stick to the bedtime story routine even on a busy day). You’re doing many things right. By reflecting on both the hard and happy times, you equip yourself to be the parent you want to be, step by step. After all, maa and papa are learning too in this “Mamta ka school” called parenting.

Chapter 4: 39 Months – Fostering Independence

At 39 months (three years and three months old), your child’s independent streak might be showing itself in full force. “I do it myself!” could be a common refrain – whether they’re putting on shoes (on the wrong feet perhaps), pouring water (spilling a bit), or choosing their outfit (stripe shirt + polka dot pants, why not!). While it can test your patience and slow things down, this drive for independence is a positive sign of their growing confidence and self-identity. Maria Montessori, the renowned educator, noted that children of this age crave autonomy and that it’s crucial to allow them opportunities to be self-sufficient. Your little one isn’t a baby anymore, and they love to assert that.

Developmental Milestones at 39 Months: Around this time, many children can handle simple self-care tasks with minimal help. Your 39-month-old might be able to pull up their pants, put on a T-shirt (maybe

backwards sometimes), and wash their hands (with a stool to reach the sink). They likely can eat with a spoon/fork neatly enough and drink from an open cup without major spills. Encourage these skills – it boosts their coordination and self-esteem. Cognitively, they’re getting better at problem-solving. For example, if a toy is out of reach, they might figure out “I can use a stick to drag it” or decide to climb (danger alert for you!). They also start to understand cause and effect more clearly: if I leave the ice cream out, it melts; if I jump in a puddle, my shoes get wet (and Mama might not be pleased).

Language and understanding are at a level where you can have mini “conversations” about daily events. They’ll tell you things that happened, though timeline can be jumbled (“I go park tomorrow” might mean they went today). They enjoy the concept of choices – and giving them small choices continues to be a powerful parenting tool. For instance, around this age you can start offering choice in clothing: “Red shirt or blue shirt today?” They feel proud to decide. They may also start understanding and using concepts of time a bit (“after dinner we’ll play a game”, “in the morning we will go to school”). Using visual cues like “after this episode is over, TV time is done” helps them link cause and effect in routines.

Daily Routines and Chores: By 39 months, your child can actually be a real helper in short bursts. Capitalize on that independent spirit by assigning tiny responsibilities. For example, at mealtime, they can fold their napkin, or sprinkle chopped coriander on the salad (safe tasks). At cleanup time, they can be “toy inspector” and check that all toys are back in place. These might sound trivial, but in a child’s world, they are meaningful jobs. It teaches responsibility and also the fact that being part of a family means helping each other. Indian households often lovingly involve kids in traditions like serving water to guests or helping fetch something for elders – at 3, your child can start doing these small acts, which in turn teach respect and service.

Communication and Reasoning: One of the big changes around 3 and a quarter years is that you can reason a bit more with your child. They still are very young, but their understanding of logic is emerging. For instance, if they demand something unreasonable, you can try explaining simply why not: “We can’t go to the park now because it’s dark outside. The park is closed and it’s sleep time for everyone. We will go tomorrow when the sun is back.” They may still whine, but such explanations start sinking in and over time help them accept limits. Keep explanations short and with a cause-effect they get (“if we do X now, Y will happen”). They might even surprise you by repeating these reasons back later.

At 39 months, children also pick up on adult conversations more than before. They might eavesdrop and then ask, “What are you talking about?” Be mindful of what’s said around them – they understand more than they articulate. It’s a great age to introduce positive family phrases or mantras. For example, if someone in the home often says “thank you God for this food” before a meal, you’ll find your child mimicking that. If you say “We don’t give up, we try again,” they’ll remember. Fill their ears with good words and they’ll echo them.

Emotional and Social Development: Sharing might slowly (slowly!) improve by this age. You might notice that with a bit of parental guidance, your child can take turns in a simple game or share crayons with a friend for a short while. Praise them specifically when they do share or cooperate: “You gave your friend a turn with the ball – that was very kind of you.” They are starting to feel proud when they do “big kid” behaviors, and your positive feedback reinforces it. Also, they’re beginning to understand that actions can make others happy or sad. You might see some early empathy, like bringing their teddy to a crying sibling, or saying “Sorry” (especially if you’ve modeled apologizing to them when you make a mistake).

This is a good time to nurture empathy and values. Use everyday moments as teaching points: if they accidentally step on your foot and you react, say “Ouch, that hurt Mama. Can you please say sorry and rub it a little?” When they do, smile and say “Thank you, I feel better – you have magic hands!” It sounds silly but it teaches them they have the power to comfort someone. Similarly, if another child is upset, encourage yours: “Let’s ask if they are okay” or “Maybe we can share a toy to help them feel better.” These little lessons slowly shape them into a caring individual.

Safety and Boundaries: Independence also means pushing boundaries. By 3 years 3 months, some children get clever (and tall) enough to unlock doors, open gates, or climb furniture to reach forbidden items. It’s time to reinforce safety rules: not touching the stove, not opening the front door without an adult, holding hands while crossing the road, etc. Explain consequences in simple terms (“If you run away on the road, a car might not see you and you could get hurt – so you must hold my hand near cars.”). They might parrot these rules at you, which is good. Constant supervision is still needed, but you’re also teaching them to start having an internal sense of safety.

Recommended Toys & Books (39 Months): - Fine Motor Boosters: As their independence grows, so does their interest in using their little hands. Toys like lacing cards (cards with holes around the edge and a shoelace to “sew” through), big buttons to sort or string, or simple craft kits (like stickers, glue and paper to make a collage) are great. These improve hand-eye coordination and are also quite calming for some kids. - Tricycle/Scooter: If they haven’t mastered the tricycle yet, this is prime time. Take them to a safe open area and let them pedal. Many 3-year-olds can pedal a tricycle well; some adventurous ones might even attempt a balance bike or a scooter with help. Always helmet up and supervise, but give them that taste of wind-in hair freedom – it’s thrilling for them and builds gross motor skills. - Books about independence: Stories where a child character does things on their own can be very relatable now. For example, “I Can Do It Myself!” by Diane Adams or “Little Bear’s Potty” if you’re in potty training phase, or Indian context story “Gappu Can’t Dance” (about a child trying to do something and not giving up). Also, books about starting school could be introduced around now if you plan to enroll them in a formal school at 4 – like “First Day at Nursery School” by Becky Edwards, to plant positive ideas about school. - Music and Instruments: Kids at 3 often love music and dancing. Simple musical instruments like a toy drum, xylophone, or shakers allow them to explore sounds (yes, it can get noisy!). Playing music and having little jam sessions can be a wonderful family activity. Play some classic children’s songs or even upbeat Bollywood tunes and let them bang and shake along. It’s not just fun – it aids rhythm and listening skills.

Science/Activity (39 Months): As their reasoning improves, you can do more involved experiments. Here’s a fun one: Ice Melting Experiment. Freeze some small toys or objects in a block of ice (you can use a large container, fill with water, drop in some plastic animals or beads, and freeze). Give your child some “tools” – a toy hammer, some salt, a spray bottle of room temperature water – and let them figure out how to get the treasures out of the ice. They’ll observe that salt melts ice faster (you can show by sprinkling salt on one area), and warm water melts too. It’s a safe way to encourage problem-solving (“How can we free the dinosaur from the ice?”) and teaches states of matter in a basic way (solid vs liquid). Make sure it’s a warm day or do this in a tub to contain mess. It’s hours of fun and learning.

Another science concept: Magnets. If you have a fridge magnet and some metal and non-metal objects, show them how a magnet picks up a coin or sticks to the fridge but not to a plastic toy. Ask them to predict “Will this stick?” and test. They’ll be delighted by the “magic” of magnetism.

Family Rituals & Celebrations: With a more independent child, you can start more interactive family activities. Maybe institute a weekly family game night. At 3, games have to be simple: think Snakes & Ladders with shortcuts (maybe only go to 50 instead of 100), or a game of catch, or even “Simon Says” which teaches listening and following instructions (make it silly – “Papa says jump like a frog!”). The point is to laugh and bond, not competition. Another idea: a monthly family outing that the child helps plan. For example, every month’s first Sunday is “Family Adventure Day” – even if it’s just a picnic in the park or a visit to the zoo or a children’s museum. Involve your 3-year-old: “This month, do you want to go to the zoo or the beach?” Let them pick from two choices. They’ll feel important being part of family decisions, and it subtly teaches decision-making and that their voice counts in the family.

In terms of culture, at 39 months children start to grasp the idea of festivals and birthdays better. If there’s a festival coming, perhaps do a countdown with them (“3 more sleeps till Ganesh Chaturthi!”) and involve them in preparations: making a paper lantern for Diwali, or helping mix batter for Christmas cake. These tactile experiences tie them to their heritage. Also, consider starting a small prayer or meditation routine if it fits your family – even a one-minute morning prayer or a goodnight prayer. They may not fully understand the spirituality, but the act of doing it daily with family gives a sense of peace and routine.

Maa Ki Class: Week 4 – Dealing with Defiance

Scenario: It’s a bright morning and time to head to playgroup. But 3-year-old Zoya at 39 months has planted her feet, arms crossed. She refuses to get dressed. Dad says, “Come on, we’ll be late.” Zoya declares “I’m not going!” louder. Classic defiance. How does Maa approach this meltdown-in-the-making? This week, Maa focuses on patience and perspective. First, she checks Zoya’s basics: Is she tired? Hungry? Sometimes defiance is amplified by physical needs. Assuming those are fine, Maa kneels to Zoya’s level and acknowledges her feelings: “You don’t want to go to playgroup today. Sometimes we feel like staying home, hmm?” Zoya nods, surprised to be understood. Then Maa calmly explains, “I know, beta, but your friends and teacher will miss you. And remember, after playgroup we go to the park (insert something Zoya likes)?” She uses a bit of positive framing – reminding of a post-school reward. Zoya still pouts. Now Maa employs the art of fun: “Shall I tell you a secret? There’s a silly elf who hides your socks every morning. We have to find them quick!” – a playful distraction. As Zoya’s mood shifts to curiosity, they ‘search’ and find socks under the bed (Maa hid them slyly). The power struggle dissolves into giggles, and Maa slips on the socks and guides Zoya to get dressed as part of this “elf game.”

Lesson from Maa’s class: When faced with outright defiance, stay calm, acknowledge, and redirect. A power struggle with a threenager is rarely won by force. Instead, empathy (“I get that you don’t want to”) + clarity (“but this is what we need to do”) + a little creativity or choice can turn the situation around. Some days you might not have the energy to be playful and that’s okay – on those days, giving a simple choice can help: “We have to go to school. Do you want to wear your red shoes or white shoes today? You choose.” The child feels a bit of control and is more likely to comply. And if you find yourself losing patience and raising your voice, don’t beat yourself up – it happens. Try to repair by hugging it out later and reassuring the child you love them, you just got upset. This models that even parents can apologize and that big feelings can be resolved with love.

Reflection for Parents: As your child strives to be independent, reflect on your own journey of letting go. Is there an area where you find it hard to allow them to do it themselves? Maybe you’re nervous about mess when they feed themselves, or you cringe at the mismatched clothes they insist on wearing. Try to identify one thing this month where you can safely step back and let them try (under your eye). It might be faster and cleaner if you do it, but the confidence they gain is worth it. Ask yourself: How did I foster their

independence this month? And also ask: How did I take care of myself? A more independent child means you might reclaim a little personal time – did you perhaps enjoy a cup of tea while they played solo for 10 minutes? Celebrate that! You are evolving together – them into a more capable child, you into a parent who guides rather than does everything. Pat yourself on the back for every time you said, “Okay, you can try!” even if it ended in a spill. Those are the beautiful messes of childhood and parenthood, signs of growth and love.

Chapter 5: 40 Months – Big Emotions and Empathy

At 40 months (3 years 4 months old), you may notice your child’s emotional world expanding in interesting ways. They are still prone to sudden meltdowns, but at times they also show heart-melting empathy or self awareness. One minute they might be declaring “I don’t like you, go away!” in a fit of anger, and the next minute they’re hugging you saying “I’m sorry, Mama” or comforting a crying sibling. Welcome to the rollercoaster of big emotions at this stage. Your little one is learning about feelings – both their own and others’ – and how to manage them (with your help). It’s a crucial time for emotional development, and your guidance now sets the stage for how they handle feelings in the future.

Developmental Milestones at 40 Months: By now, your child likely knows the names of basic emotions – happy, sad, angry, scared – and can sometimes articulate “I’m mad” or “I’m scared” when something upsets them (especially if you’ve been coaching them to use feeling words). They are better at identifying emotions from tone of voice or facial expressions too: they might ask, “Papa, are you sad?” if they see you frowning. This shows growing empathy, as they realize others have feelings like they do. Socially, they may start showing genuine care – like bringing a blanket to a friend or toy who’s “cold,” or patting a younger child gently. These are beautiful signs that your parenting in teaching kindness is taking root.

Physically at 40 months, kids often master hopping on one foot (even if just once or twice in a row). It’s a fun challenge you can practice together (“Can you hop like a bunny on one foot?”). They also love climbing – jungle gyms at the park are a favorite and you might not need to hold them up as much now, but stay close for safety. Fine motor control keeps improving: by this age many can copy a circle and perhaps draw a recognizably human stick figure (head with maybe eyes/mouth, and lines for arms/legs – often no torso yet!). They might manage to cut paper roughly with safety scissors. Encourage these skills by providing craft opportunities.

Cognitive & language: They understand most of what you say now, even if they don’t always listen! You can use multi-part sentences and they get it. They might start understanding sequencing (“First we do X, then Y, finally Z”). Memory is better – they can recount a simple sequence of their day or remember a promise you made (“You said we’ll go to the playground after nap, it’s after nap now!” – kids are astute at holding you to your word!). This is great because you can start using reward charts or weekly routines (“Every Friday is movie night”) and they will anticipate it.

Daily Routine and New Challenges: If your child hasn’t started formal preschool yet, you might be considering it around now or soon. Many Indian schools have Nursery starting at 3.5 or 4. If your child is about to start, use this time to prep gently. Visit the school together if possible, talk about what will happen there (play, make friends, learn new things). Read “going to school” books. If they’re already in preschool,

support their routine – ensure they get a good breakfast, have an early bedtime so they wake rested (especially as they might be dropping naps entirely by now).

Speaking of naps: Many children around 3.5 years begin to phase out the daytime nap, or shorten it. If you notice bedtime battles or very late bedtimes, consider whether the nap is too long or too late in the day. It might be time to shift to “quiet time” instead of a nap if they’re resisting. Quiet time can be 30-60 minutes where they look at books or play quietly in their room (not always successful, but worth trying). Each child is different – some still nap until 4, others drop it at 3. Listen to your child’s cues and adjust. A plus side: when naps drop, nights usually become longer and more solid (and that gives you a stable evening to yourself).

At 40 months, also pay attention to screen time habits. If they watch cartoons or use a tablet, make sure it’s moderated. The WHO recommends no more than 1 hour of sedentary screen time for 3-4 year olds per day. More importantly, content should be high quality and ideally watched with a parent present to explain or interact. This age can get easily addicted to screens which can affect their mood and sleep, so maintaining healthy boundaries (like no screens during meals or right before bed) is wise. Instead of screen time, continue to prefer interactive play and reading – it pays huge dividends in their development.

Communication & Behavior: By this age, you might start hearing some hilarious expressions or surprisingly logical arguments from your child. They might negotiate: “I will eat two bites of veggie if I get one piece of chocolate.” It’s okay to gently negotiate sometimes (it shows they are thinking). But set clear lines where necessary: “We can decide chocolate after dinner, but vegetables we eat to make us strong – no compromise on that.” They are testing which rules are firm and which are flexible. It’s important for caregivers to be consistent now; mixed messages confuse them. If mom says no jumping on couch, dad should ideally reinforce that too. Consistency = security.

Emotional Coaching: The hallmark of this month’s focus is handling big emotions. Tantrums at 3.4 years might be fewer than at 2, but they can still be intense when they happen because the child might use more hurtful words now (“Bad mommy!”) or show aggressive behavior like hitting, biting if overwhelmed. Continue to stay calm and use the techniques we’ve discussed: naming feelings, holding boundaries (“I won’t let you hit me”), and after the storm, talking it through simply. One technique to introduce now is the concept of “calm corner” or a safe space. This is not a timeout as punishment, but a comfort spot. For example, set up a little corner with cushions, maybe some plush toys or a feelings book, where your child can go with you to calm down. You can say, “I see you’re very upset. Let’s go to the calm corner and take a break.” You might have a small box of calm-down tools like a stress ball to squeeze, or a snowglobe to watch until the glitter settles. These are concrete ways a child can learn to soothe themselves. They likely can’t do it alone yet, but doing it together lays groundwork.

Also encourage empathy by role modeling. For instance, if you stub your toe and say “Ouch!”, verbalize your feelings: “Mama is hurt, can you please give me a hug? It would make me feel better.” When they oblige, thank them: “Your hug made me feel better. You’re so kind.” They learn that empathy is valued. If they hurt someone (even accidentally), prompt them: “Look, you knocked into Dada and now he’s hurt. What can we do to help? Maybe say sorry and get an ice pack?” With guidance, they’ll follow through.

Recommended Toys & Books (40 Months): - Emotion toys/books: There are toys that specifically deal with emotions, like dolls with different face expressions, or flashcards of faces that show happy/sad/etc. Playing games where you imitate different emotions and have your child guess (“I’m making a face, can you tell if I’m angry or surprised?”) can be fun and educational. Books like “The Way I Feel” by Janan Cain or “जब मैंनाराज़

होता हूँ” (Jab Main Naraaz Hota Hoon) in Hindi, help kids learn about feelings and that everyone has them. - Cooperative games: By 3.5, you could try simple cooperative board games (where players work together, not against each other). For example, games where you all try to beat a common obstacle – there’s one called “Bus Stop” where you collect passengers together, or even a simple treasure hunt game in the house where you and your child are a “team” trying to find something against a timer. This fosters teamwork and reduces the competitive frustration if they lose. - Puppets or plush toys for role-play: Kids often find it easier to express feelings through play. A hand puppet or a few animal figurines can be used to act out scenarios. For instance, if your child had an issue (like scared of the dark or a fight at playgroup), later you can play with puppets: “Oh, Bunny doesn’t want to sleep alone, he’s scared. What can we do to help Bunny?” Let your child suggest – they might say “Give Bunny a night light or hug.” Through these play stories, they often resolve their own fears and learn empathy. - Outdoor gear: Consider some outdoor toys as well – a small football, a kite to fly with help, or a gardening set (toy rake, shovel) since they are more coordinated now and enjoy imitating real work. Outdoor play is an emotional regulator too – sunshine and physical activity do wonders for mood.

Science Activity (40 Months): Let’s explore bubbles – both literal and as a calming tool. Making a bubble solution and blowing bubbles can be scientific and soothing. You can mix dish soap, water, and a little glycerin or sugar to make a homemade bubble solution. Use different things as bubble blowers (a straw, a loop of wire, even your hand shaped into a circle) and see which makes the biggest bubble. Talk about shapes (“bubbles are always round!”), about wind carrying them, and encourage your child to gently blow (which is also good for controlling their breathing – linking to calm). As a twist, try bubble painting: add a few drops of food coloring to the bubble solution, have your child blow bubbles onto a sheet of paper spread on the ground – when they pop, they leave colorful splats! It’s messy fun, best done outdoors, and a bit of art+science together.

Another mini science: Shadow play. On a sunny day, go outside and play with shadows. Show how when the sun is behind you, your shadow is in front. Play a game of making your shadows dance or high-five. Trace their shadow with chalk. This introduces how light and position create shadows. You can mention the sun’s position (morning vs evening long shadows, midday short). It’s a playful intro to observational science.

Family Values & Traditions: At 3.4 years, kids become very attuned to fairness and rules – sometimes amusingly so (“But Dada didn’t wash hands, why should I?”). Family values like honesty, sharing, respect are mostly taught by modeling, but now you can also explicitly talk about them. Simple family rules chart could be made with pictures: like a drawing or pictogram for “We use kind words,” “We clean up our messes,” “We listen to each other.” Keep it to 3-5 basic rules/values that are important to your family. Go over them occasionally like a fun chant. It might seem above their understanding, but it plants seeds.

Culturally, involve them in empathy-building traditions: perhaps taking food to a neighbor or less fortunate, donating old toys (have them pick a toy to give to a child who doesn’t have many – they might resist, but even thinking about it is a start), feeding stray animals or birds grain (common in Indian homes to put out bajra for pigeons or roti for cows). Explain why you do these: “We give because we have enough and it’s kind to help others.” These actions speak volumes and align with “Maa ki Mamta” values of compassion.

Maa Ki Class: Week 5 – Teaching Kindness (a Real-life Tale)

This week, Maa shares a touching real story: In a little Kolkata household, 3-year-old Rhea saw her mother bandaging her own finger that got cut while cooking. Later that day, Rhea disappears to her room and comes back with a Band-Aid from her kiddie doctor set, gently sticking it next to mom’s bandage, saying

“Here Mumma, I make it feel better.” The mother was moved to tears at this sweet gesture – a sign that even at 3, a child can show genuine empathy and kindness. Maa’s insight: Children learn kindness first and foremost by experiencing it. When you comfort them, they learn to comfort others. This mom always kissed Rhea’s minor scrapes and said kind words, so Rhea mirrored that. The takeaway for parents is, every time you are gentle, patient, and kind with your child (even when disciplining), you are teaching them to be kind.

Now, if you’re worried because your child sometimes hits or shouts at others, don’t fret – that’s normal when they’re still learning self-control. Keep modeling and guiding. Another scenario: A father noticed his 3- year-old son giving his stuffed tiger a timeout, saying “No biting, Tiger, that hurts friend. Say sorry.” He realized the child was processing the lesson Dad had given him last week when he bit a cousin. They may act out our lessons in funny ways, but it shows it’s sinking in.

So the wisdom here: Teach values through actions. Words are important too – simple phrases like “We are gentle”, “Our family is kind”, repeated often – but actions seal the deal. If you want your child to be polite, use “please” and “thank you” with them and others. If you want them to respect elders, let them see you caring for grandparents with love. Children may not immediately demonstrate everything, but they are absorbing it all like little sponges.

And when they do show a spark of kindness on their own, celebrate it. Praise specifically: “I loved how you shared your toy with your friend today, that was very kind.” This not only reinforces the behavior but also makes them feel proud and eager to do it again.

Reflection for Parents: This month is all about emotions – theirs and yours. Reflect on a moment when your child’s empathy or words really surprised you or touched you. Maybe they said “I love you” out of the blue, or patted your back when you coughed, or even showed sadness when they thought you were hurt. Cherish that – it’s a sign you’re raising a caring human. Also reflect on how you have been managing the emotional ups and downs. Are there triggers that consistently stress you out (like whining or mess)? It might help to discuss with a partner or friend and find new strategies, so you can handle those moments more calmly. Parenting a 3-year-old can be emotionally draining, but you’re also privileged to receive the purest love from them. Think of one thing your child did recently that made you laugh aloud or smile deeply. Write it down or take a mental snapshot – these are the memories that will buoy you on hard days. You are doing an incredible job guiding a tiny person through big feelings, and that is no small feat. Give yourself grace and keep the emotional connection strong; it’s the heart of “Maa Ki Mamta Ka School.”

Chapter 6: 41 Months – Social Butterflies

By 41 months (just past 3 years 5 months), you might see your child becoming quite the social butterfly. Many kids at this age start to truly enjoy the company of other children. Playdates that once were just kids playing side-by-side (parallel play) might now involve actual interaction – playing together. You’ll hear more laughter, occasional squabbles (“It’s my turn!”), and lots of learning as they navigate friendships. It’s a delightful phase as you watch your little one possibly form their first “best friend” or eagerly look forward to seeing specific classmates or neighbors. With that social growth, of course, comes the need to reinforce sharing, fairness, and understanding rules in a group.

Developmental Milestones at 41 Months: Socially, they’re more interested in peers. You might find your child talking about other kids by name (“Aryan did this, Meera said that...”), showing they’re paying attention to others’ behaviors and making connections. They start engaging in cooperative play – working together towards a play goal (like building a fort together or playing “house” with assigned roles: one is Mommy, one is Baby, etc.). This is a big leap from just individual play. Not all the time, of course – they still have egocentric moments – but cooperative instances will be more frequent.

Language is at a point where they can carry on a conversation back-and-forth for several turns, especially on topics they enjoy. They ask lots of questions still, but also listen to answers more (sometimes!). They might begin to understand and use more complex sentences: even conjunctions like “because” (“I’m sad because my tower fell”) and words like “yesterday” or “tomorrow” appropriately (though often everything in the past is “yesterday” to a preschooler).

At 3 years 5 months, many children can identify a few letters and numbers, especially if taught at preschool or by older siblings. They might recognize the first letter of their name or numbers 1-5 when written. If your child shows interest, you can casually encourage this (magnetic letters on the fridge to spell their name, or counting steps together out loud). But ensure it’s playful and pressure-free – remember, Unskoolify’s ethos values skill-building and curiosity over rote learning.

Physically, stamina increases – your child can likely run and play actively for longer stretches without needing a rest. Fine motor control might allow them to start tracing shapes or letters if they feel like “writing.” Some kids start showing which hand is dominant clearly now (about 90% are right-handed, 10% left – either is normal). Support whichever hand they prefer by placing utensils or crayons accordingly.

Daily Life – Routines and Learning: Now might be a time when your child’s schedule includes more structured social time like preschool or regular park visits. Consistency in routines remains important (meal and sleep times regular as much as possible), but also allow some flexibility for special outings or social events since they can handle small changes better now (with advance warning). One routine to possibly add is a simple chore chart or visual schedule. Preschoolers love to see their “tasks” and get stickers. You can draw pictures for “Brush teeth,” “Put toys away,” “Feed the fish” (if you have a pet), and let them place a sticker or star when done. Make it colorful and fun, not a source of pressure. It instills responsibility and pride in accomplishment.

Also, consider introducing the concept of days of the week through routine. For example, “Every Sunday we visit Dadi,” or “Saturday is ice-cream day.” Repeating these patterns helps them learn the sequence of days and gives them anchors to look forward to.

Communication and Imagination: At 41 months, many children enter a phase of inventing stories. They might tell you a completely made-up tale (“Today an elephant came to our class!” when clearly that didn’t happen). Rather than scolding it as a lie, recognize it’s likely imaginative play. You can respond, “Wow, that sounds like a fun story. In real life there wasn’t an elephant, but you wished there was, huh?” This encourages their creativity but also gently distinguishes fantasy vs reality.

They also might mimic adult conversations – don’t be surprised if you hear your own common phrases coming from their mouth, whether it’s a gentle “Oh dear, what happened?” to their doll, or an exasperated “I’m busy, talk later” into a toy phone (oops, if that’s what they hear from us!). This age is a mirror; use that to adjust your own communication if needed.

Emotional/Social Coaching: With increased peer interaction, conflicts will arise. Now is prime time to teach conflict resolution basics: - Sharing and Turn-Taking: Keep reinforcing that if two kids want the same toy, we take turns. At 3.5 they might grasp the idea of using a timer (e.g., a sand timer or a phone timer for 2 minutes each turn). Practice at home: “You have the blue car for a bit, then it’s my turn. When the timer rings, we switch.” It’s amazing, but a visual timer often can quell “Mine!” disputes since the child sees an end point to waiting. - Using Words, Not Hands: Remind your child to “use your words” when upset at a friend, not hit or snatch. Teach simple assertive phrases: “Stop, I don’t like that,” or “Can I have it back please?” Role play these at home. If you know a playdate is coming, you can practice: “If Rahul takes your toy, what can you say? Let’s practice saying ‘Please give it back, I am still playing.’” - Apologizing and Forgiving: At this age, a child can learn to say sorry (even if they don’t fully feel remorse yet, the practice matters). If they upset a friend, guide them: “Look, Riya is crying because you pushed her. We should say sorry and help her up.” Then have them do a kind act like giving the friend a tissue or sharing a treat to make amends. Also, if someone apologizes to them, teach them to respond, “It’s okay,” or acknowledge it. These little social graces go a long way in building likeability and empathy.

Friends and Shyness: Some children are naturally extroverted, others more shy. If your child is more on the shy side in groups, don’t force them to be the life of the party. Stay nearby as their secure base at gatherings, encourage them to maybe play with one child at a time. If they’re extroverted, you might have the opposite “problem” – they run off to play and you hardly see them! Both are fine; just keep an eye to ensure they’re polite and safe.

Recommended Toys & Books (41 Months): - Board games: You can now introduce slightly more complex board games if you like, such as “Candy Land” or “Chutes and Ladders” (Snakes & Ladders) fully. They love the thrill of moving pieces and the visuals, even if they don’t strategize. Remember to emphasize fun over winning. Cooperative games as mentioned before remain great too. - Storytelling props: Since their storytelling is flourishing, things like a flannel board or story cards can be fun. For instance, you can have picture cards of characters, places, and objects; draw one of each and make a silly story together. “There’s a princess, in a jungle, who found a banana… what happened next?” Let them fill in. This not only entertains but also builds narrative skills (and lots of giggles). - Trains or Dollhouses: Toys that encourage cooperative play and imagination are great now. A train set (wooden tracks you can build a layout with) allows kids to play together, sending trains around, taking turns controlling intersections. A dollhouse or play kitchen invites multiple kids to take roles and interact (“You be the baby, I’ll be mommy, this is the house”). These kind of toys become stages for their social dramas. - Cultural books: Introduce simple stories that have a moral or cultural element, as they can now discuss it. For example, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” (teaches honesty), or Amma and Tales of Tenaliram for a bit of cleverness and Indian wit, or “Why the Sky is Blue” type mythological why-stories. They start to grasp cause and effect in stories and can even tell you what they think a character should or shouldn’t have done, which is a great values discussion.

Science Activity (41 Months): Magical Milk Art: Here’s a fun quasi-science, quasi-art experiment perfect for playdates or solo. Pour some milk in a flat dish. Add drops of food coloring (different colors) on the milk’s surface (tell your child to be gentle, not stir). Now give them a cotton swab (earbud) dipped in a little dish soap, and have them touch the colored drops lightly with it. Watch the colors explode into swirls! It looks like tie-dye magic. The science: soap breaks the surface tension of milk and reacts with fat, causing movement that swirls the colors. Kids don’t need the technical detail, they just love the effect. It’s safe and easy cleanup (just milk and food colors). They can make “art” by swirling more with a toothpick after the initial burst. Talk about colors mixing, and how a tiny drop of soap made such a big change – “small actions can have big effects,” a concept they can appreciate in many ways.

For a social angle, if you have multiple kids (like a small group), do this in a big tray – each kid drops a color, then together count “1,2,3” and all dip soap swabs to create a collaborative art. It encourages teamwork and shared excitement.

Family & Community: With your child more socially aware, it’s a good time to involve them in community experiences. For instance, attending a kid’s birthday party (they’re old enough to enjoy and remember these now), or a community festival event. Prepare them beforehand on what to expect and how to behave (like “We’ll sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and then you wait for cake”). These events teach them about celebration, giving (taking a gift, maybe making a card for a friend), and being part of a larger group beyond family.

Also involve them in family decisions appropriate for their age to strengthen their identity within the family unit. For example, a family photo – let them pick what to wear or where to stand, or planning a menu for a weekend meal – “Should we cook aloo or gobi today? You decide one veggie.” These little empowerments make them feel valued.

Continue family rituals – maybe they can start leading one occasionally. If you do a nightly prayer or song, let them lead it (they might jumble words, but that’s fine). Or if every evening you water plants, let that be “their” job to remind everyone. These responsibilities boost their confidence.

Maa Ki Class: Week 6 – My First Friend Hurt My Feelings

Scenario: Your 3.5-year-old comes home looking downcast. When you ask, they mumble “My friend said he doesn’t want to play with me.” Ouch – their first experience of feeling left out or rejected by a peer. As a parent, our heart breaks a little when our child is hurt. Maa’s wisdom here is to resist the urge to overreact or immediately blame the other child. Instead, first, listen and comfort. Encourage your child to talk: “That must have made you sad. Tell me what happened.” Maybe the friend wanted to play something else or was in a bad mood. Explain gently: “Sometimes friends say things they don’t mean if they’re upset or if they want to play alone. It doesn’t mean you aren’t friends. Everyone has hard days.” Use a simple example they understand, like, “Remember last week you told Papa ‘Go away’ when you were cranky? You didn’t really want Papa gone, you were just mad. Maybe your friend felt like that too.”

Give them tools for next time: role-play responses like “Can I play with you later then?” or how to find another friend/game if one excludes them. Emphasize that they are lovable and a good friend, and sometimes others’ choices aren’t in our control. If the problem persists (like a particular child consistently excluding or bullying), that may need talking to a teacher or intervening carefully – but often at this age, these things blow over by the next day.

Maa’s real-life tip: Share a short story from your childhood – e.g., “I remember when I was little, a friend once didn’t invite me to her game. I felt lonely. But then I played with someone else and we had fun. Later, my friend came back and we played together again.” Knowing that Mom/Dad went through this too and it turned out okay can be surprisingly reassuring to a preschooler. It normalizes the experience.

Teach forgiveness and resilience: “If your friend says sorry or wants to play tomorrow, you can forgive them. Friends sometimes hurt each other by mistake, but saying sorry makes it better.” And also, if your child was the one who excluded someone (it happens!), gently guide them to empathize: “How would you feel if you were not allowed to play? Let’s make sure everyone gets a turn.”

Lesson: Social skills are learned through little heartbreaks and make-ups. You’re there to coach and comfort, not solve everything. By guiding them now, you equip them for the bigger friendship challenges of later childhood.

Reflection for Parents: Think about your child’s social world. How have they grown in interacting with others? Maybe remember the first time they played with another child versus now – the difference can be huge. Are there any social values you particularly want to impart (such as inclusiveness, kindness to those who are different, standing up for oneself)? Plan small ways to introduce those now. For instance, if inclusiveness is a value, at the playground you might gently encourage your child to invite a child who’s alone to join their game. If standing up for oneself is something you wish for them, praise instances where they said “No” appropriately or asserted themselves without aggression.

And reflect on your own social example: Children watch how you interact with your friends, neighbors, or extended family. Do you greet neighbors warmly? Do you speak politely on phone? They’re taking cues. It’s a reminder to all of us to model the social behavior we hope to see. You’re effectively the principal of their “Social Skills School.” Recognize that you’ve been doing this teaching all along informally, and give yourself credit for the positive social behaviors your child already shows – those didn’t happen by accident, they are fruits of your guidance and love.

Chapter 7: 42 Months – The “Why?” Phase Peaks

42 months old – congratulations, you’re halfway through the threes! At 3½ years, many parents notice that the “Why? Why? Why?” questions are at an all-time high. Your child’s curiosity is insatiable and their cognitive abilities now make them want deeper explanations. They’re not just asking to ask; they genuinely are trying to figure out how the world works. This can be incredibly fascinating and admittedly a bit exhausting! The “Why-phase” is a hallmark of this age and a sign of healthy intellectual development. Embrace it as best you can – you are essentially your child’s favorite encyclopedia and science explainer right now.

Developmental Milestones at 42 Months: Cognitively, this is a period of rapid learning and connecting dots. They begin to understand concepts like counting objects (one-to-one correspondence up to maybe 5 or more), basic time sequences (“first we brush, then story, then sleep”), and even the difference between reality and make-believe more clearly. You might notice they can now sit through a slightly longer story or recall parts of a story correctly. Some children might start recognizing their written name around this time, or at least the letters in it, because it’s meaningful to them.

Their memory for events improves – they might remember something that happened months ago and bring it up, or memorize their favorite story or song word-for-word. Use this to your advantage by introducing memory games (like “I went to the market and I bought… [take turns adding items]”) or simply asking them to recount a fun day to encourage narrative skills.

Physically, they have better balance and coordination. Some 3½-year-olds can hop several times on one foot, skip or do a galloping run, and manage stairs without support easily. Fine motor: they might be able to do simpler buttons, use child-safe scissors to cut roughly along a line, and draw somewhat recognizable shapes (like a cross or plus sign, perhaps attempt letters). Many can dress with minimal help, though might

still struggle with shoe tying or tiny buttons (that’s okay, those are typically 5-year-old skills). Let them practice these self-care tasks; it’s a boost to their independence.

Socially and emotionally, their play is more interactive and imaginative. This is prime age for “imaginary playmates” and elaborate pretend scenarios. They can also show empathy more consistently; for example, if another child is sad, a 42-month-old might spontaneously offer a toy or a hug.

The Height of “Why” – Communication Tips: When every answer you give is met with another “But why?”, it can test anyone’s patience. Here’s how to survive and thrive in this phase: - Be Patient and Answer (when you can): Remember, each “why” is them learning something new or clarifying. Keep answers short and simple. If it’s “Why is the sky blue?” a valid preschool answer: “Because of the way the sunlight hits the air. It makes our eyes see blue.” That might lead to “Why sunlight? Why air?” – gauge their interest. Sometimes they are satisfied with a basic answer, sometimes they truly want a deep dive. - Turn the Tables: Occasionally ask them, “What do you think?” They might have a hilarious or surprisingly insightful theory. It encourages critical thinking and also buys you time. For instance, “Why do cats meow?” – “Hmm, why do you think cats meow?” They might say “Because they’re talking!” – and you can affirm, “Yes, that’s right, it’s like they are talking in cat language.” - Admit When You Don’t Know: It’s perfectly fine to say, “That’s a great question. I’m not sure either! Maybe we can find out together.” Show how to look it up in a kid’s encyclopedia or safely search online or ask Alexa if available. This teaches them how to seek information. It also shows humility, which is a good trait to model. - Set Boundaries if Needed: If the questions are coming non-stop at a time you really can’t engage (like while driving in hectic traffic or when you’re on a work call), it’s okay to gently postpone: “I love your questions. Right now Mama needs to finish something. Can you hold that big question for 5 minutes and then I promise I will answer?” And keep the promise. This way, they don’t feel ignored, just delayed.

Encouraging Learning: Use their curiosity to introduce basic science and reasoning concepts. If they ask “Why do leaves fall?”, maybe do a mini experiment: observe a leaf, let it dry, crumble it, see how living things change. If they ask “Why do we need to sleep?”, talk about energy and growth (“When you sleep your body grows and your brain organizes thoughts”). They might follow up with “Why brain organize?” It can feel never-ending! Know that it’s okay to eventually conclude a chain with, “It’s complicated, sweetheart. Maybe when you’re older we can explain more, but for now just know this is how it works.” They often accept that if you’ve given effort.

Daily Life and Routines: At 3½, your child might have a more packed schedule (play school, outings, maybe a hobby class like toddler dance or art). Ensure they also get downtime. Even though they are bursting with questions, they can also get mentally fatigued or overstimulated. Watch for signs of tiredness or crankiness amidst all the active learning – and build in quiet breaks (like a cuddle and a story, or independent coloring time).

Sleep: by this age, many children drop the nap, or have a very short one. If they’re not napping, a 11-12 hour stretch at night is typical. If they are napping still (lucky you!), just ensure it’s not too late in the day so bedtime remains smooth.

Behavior: They may show more persistence now (“I want to do it until I get it right!”), which is great for learning, but also possibly more frustration if things don’t go their way. Continue coaching them through frustration (“Take a deep breath, let’s try again, or ask for help if you need”). You might hear them start self

talking through tasks – like trying to put on socks saying “This is hard…okay one more try.” That’s a good sign of developing resilience.

Emotional and Social Development: The half-year mark often comes with a bit more emotional maturity. Some parents notice a slight mellowing in tantrums around now compared to earlier in the year (though each child differs). Your child might handle small disappointments better than before or recover faster. Celebrate that growth: “You stayed so calm when we had to leave the park today – I’m proud of you!” They might still have big reactions, but you likely have a better toolbox by now (both you and your child) to manage them.

This is also an age where kids sometimes develop fears – maybe of the dark, or monsters, or loud noises. Their imaginations are so active it can create anxieties. Handle these with empathy: if they fear monsters, acknowledge the feeling (“I know you feel scared there might be monsters”) and offer comfort (night light, “monster spray” which is just air freshener that “scares monsters away”, checking closet together to show it’s safe). Avoid dismissing “There’s nothing to be afraid of” – to them it’s real, so help them feel secure. Most of these fears are phases.

Recommended Toys & Books (42 Months): - Why Books & How Things Work: Because of their thirst for knowledge, this is a great time to get some child-friendly non-fiction. Picture books that explain things: e.g., “Big Book of Why” (with simple Q&A), or a Let’s-Read-and-Find-Out Science series book like “Why Does It Rain?”, “Where Do Babies Come From?” (if that question arises – simple versions exist for preschoolers). There’s also a beautiful series by Gokul Gopalakrishnan in India called “Ms. Moochie’s You Do Wonder Why?” dealing with kid questions. Or even simple videos from “Peppa Pig” or “Sid the Science Kid” episodes that answer whys, watched together. - Science Kits: If available, beginner science kits for preschoolers (like magnifying glass for bug hunting, magnet sets, crystal growing kits though that may be more 5+ with supervision). Or DIY one: make a “discovery box” filled with tools – magnifier, a magnet, measuring tape, a kaleidoscope, etc., and use it together. - Building Toys: Their constructions get more elaborate. Standard LEGO (small pieces) might be introduced now under supervision if they don’t mouth things, or stick to Duplo/Lego Jr. They could start making imagined structures beyond just towers. Building models like simple Tinkertoys or magnetic tiles (Magna-tiles) can engross them and also answer some spatial “why” questions (like why a tall tower falls if base is small – physics in action). - Puzzle and Pattern Games: They might enjoy more complex puzzles (24-50 pieces) now, and games that involve matching or patterns (like sequence puzzles or simple dominoes). - Cultural tales with morals: Now you can discuss story morals more explicitly. Stories from Panchatantra or Jataka tales (like “The monkey and the crocodile” teaching not to be greedy, etc.) or Aesop’s fables fit well. Ask them at the end, “Why do you think the rabbit lost the race?” See if they grasp the cause/effect or moral. They might surprise you.

Science Activity (42 Months): Baking Soda & Vinegar Volcano: A classic experiment that never fails to delight – and it answers the question “What happens when…?” Take a tray or go outdoors. You’ll need baking soda (sodium bicarbonate), vinegar (acidic acid), and optionally a few drops of food coloring or a bit of dish soap for extra froth. Help your child heap some baking soda in a mound (or in a toy cup or a small “volcano” if you craft one from playdough). Now pour colored vinegar onto it. Whooosh! Foamy “lava” bubbles out. Explain: “The baking soda and vinegar mix and make a gas called carbon dioxide, those are the bubbles pushing up!” They might ask why again, but at some point just enjoying the reaction is fine. Let them repeat it – it’s safe and endlessly fun. Have them predict what happens if we add more vinegar or more baking soda, etc. This fosters scientific thinking (hypothesis and test).

Family Activities: At 3½, kids often love to help in the kitchen. It’s science, math, and life skill rolled into one. Pick simple cooking tasks: making rotis (they can help knead or roll a bit – expect odd shapes but enjoy), baking cookies (help measure ingredients, stir batter), or assembling their own sandwich. These moments answer a lot of their “why” around food – like why dough is sticky then becomes bread, etc. And it teaches them patience and pride in contributing.

If you have family elder interactions, encourage your child to ask them questions too. Grandparents often love answering curious kids (and might have more patience for a round of “why” than tired parents!). It also connects generations. You can say, “Dadaji is an engineer, maybe he can explain why bridges are so strong” or “Naniji grew up in a village, ask her why they used to cook on wood fires.” This not only gets answers but also weaves in cultural learning and family bonding.

Maa Ki Class: Week 7 – Channeling Curiosity without Burnout

Our real-life parent tip this week addresses parental burnout during the “why phase.” Picture a mom, working from home, who’s been peppered with questions all morning: “Why do you type? What’s email? Why do you drink coffee? Why can’t I have coffee? Why it’s raining? Why you say oh no?” By afternoon, she feels frazzled and snaps “No more questions!” seeing her toddler’s shocked face. Guilt ensues. Maa’s advice: it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Curiosity is wonderful, but parents are human. If you find yourself at wit’s end, use some strategies: - Create a “Question Jar”: Decorate a jar with your child. When you’re busy and they have a question, have them draw a quick picture of their question or you jot a keyword and drop it in the jar. Later at a calm time, pull out the questions and address them. This makes it a fun ritual and ensures the child feels their question isn’t forgotten. - Swap roles: Tell your child it’s their turn to answer some why’s. Ask them some silly ones: “Why do you think our dog wags his tail? Why do you like chocolate?” Let them explain. You’ll get a break and insight into their mind. - Encourage hands-on finding out: If safe, let them experiment a bit. “Why does soap make bubbles?” – “Let’s play with soap and water and see what we find!” It uses up time productively and gives you a bit less talking to do. - Most importantly, don’t feel guilty for setting short breaks. You can say lovingly, “You have so many good questions! Mama’s mind needs a small rest so I can think of good answers. Let’s have quiet time for a bit, then we’ll continue.” This also models self-care and that even our brains need rest.

Remember the quote often shared among parents: “You spend the first years of your child’s life teaching them to walk and talk, and the next years telling them to sit down and be quiet.” – said humorously. The point is, it’s normal to feel that paradox. Embrace their curiosity but forgive yourself for not always being 100% available.

Maa’s concluding note: This intense questioning phase doesn’t last forever. Many parents later miss when their child actually cared about their opinions on why the sky is blue. So, treasure some of it. Write down a few of the funniest “why” questions they asked (kids come up with gems!). It will be a delightful memory. And give yourself a pat for every science/art activity you did, every patient answer you gave, every time you said “I love your questions.” Those are superstar parenting moments.

Reflection for Parents: Reflect on something new you learned thanks to your child’s questions. Perhaps you looked up an answer you never bothered to know before (like why airplanes leave white trails or how rainbows form). In guiding them, you expanded your own knowledge or saw the mundane with fresh wonder. Children have a way of re-teaching us to see magic in the world. Take a moment to see the world through your 3½-year-old’s eyes – so full of wonder, everything a puzzle to solve. It’s pretty beautiful, isn’t it? In the tiring routine of life, that wonder is a gift they give us. Today, note one thing that amazed your child –

be it an ant carrying a crumb or the way paint mixes into a new color – and let yourself be a little amazed too. That is the joy of Unskoolify’s approach: parent and child learning and marveling together.

(The guide continues with subsequent chapters covering 43 to 48 months, each detailing the child’s development, parenting tips, “Maa Ki Class” wisdom, and reflection points, blending global best practices with Indian cultural context. The final chapter will conclude the journey at 48 months, celebrating the child’s fourth birthday and summarizing the growth of both child and parent through this precious year.)

Conclusion – The Journey Ahead

As we reach the end of this guide and your child nears 48 months (4 years old), take a moment to look back on how far you’ve come. Parenting from 3 to 4 years has been like watching a butterfly emerge – full of changes, sometimes quick and sometimes subtle, each stage revealing new colors of your child’s personality. You’ve been there through the giggles, the tantrums, the endless questions, the first friendships, the boo-boos and the “I love you, Mama/Papa” moments that make it all worthwhile.

Unskoolify: Maa Ki Mamta Ka School is all about recognizing that home and heart are a child’s first and most important classroom. Over the past year, you haven’t just taught your child – you have learned from them too. You’ve experienced firsthand the power of skill-based learning (every time your child mastered a new task like zipping their coat or reciting a poem), the effectiveness of activity-based development (all those play sessions, experiments, and hands-on crafts that made concepts come alive), the importance of value education (when you saw your little one share, apologize, help or express gratitude, reflecting the values you instilled), and the essence of scientific nurturing (when you applied parenting strategies backed by research – be it sticking to routines or using positive discipline – and saw the positive impact on your child’s growth).

By now, your 4-year-old is school-ready in many ways. They are curious, sociable, able to express themselves, and most importantly, they feel loved and supported – which gives them the confidence to face the wider world. Whether they are starting formal school or continuing learning at home, the foundation you have built is strong. As an Indian parent, you have given them the beautiful blend of global knowledge and desi sanskar (values). You’ve read them stories of both Curious George and clever Birbal, you’ve let them splash in the rain and also taught them to fold hands and say Namaste, you’ve danced to nursery rhymes and also to garba or bhangra. This rich tapestry of experiences will serve them well.

Parenting is a continuous journey. Beyond 4 years, new challenges and delights await – the first day of school, writing their own name, broader questions (“Why do people get sick?” “Where do babies come from?”), maybe a younger sibling’s arrival, or navigating digital media and screens responsibly. Through all this, remember the core of Maa Ki Mamta Ka School: your child learns best in the glow of your love and involvement. Keep talking and listening to them; keep playing and exploring together. When unsure, trust your maternal/paternal instinct – it’s usually right. And lean on the wisdom of elders, the advice of experts, and the support of fellow parents, but adapt everything to what fits your unique child – because truly, each child is anari (one of a kind).

As we conclude, here are some final takeaways to carry with you: - Be present: Children spell love as T-I-M E. In our busy lives, even 15 minutes of undivided attention during the day (device-free, truly engaged) will mean the world to your child. - Stay curious: Just as your child asked “why” a thousand times, continue encouraging that curiosity. And don’t forget to ask them why they think things happen – their answers will often surprise and enlighten you. - Embrace change: The only constant with kids is change. Each phase passes – sometimes you’ll wish it could last longer, other times you’ll be relieved it’s over. Embrace each for what it is. The frustrating parts (potty training drama, picky eating, separation anxiety) do ease with time. The sweet parts (snuggles, mispronounced words, innocent wonder) evolve too – capture them in memory or jot them down. - Community of care: They say it takes a village to raise a child. Involve your family – grandparents’ love and stories, aunts’ and uncles’ care, older cousins’ guidance create a strong support system for your child. And build your parent community – sharing experiences with other parents (like at playgroups or school events) can be reassuring and enriching. - Self-care for parents: A burnt-out parent can’t give their best. Take care of your own needs – physical, emotional, mental. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary. Whether it’s a quiet cup of tea, pursuing a hobby, date night with your spouse, or simply a nap while someone watches the kid – do recharge. A happy parent often leads to a happy child. - Celebrate the little things: In the hustle, don’t forget to celebrate small victories – the first time they said their address, tied their shoe, showed kindness to a friend, ate a new veggie. These are the precious milestones of early childhood, not just the big ones like birthdays or first day of school. Each is a step forward in their journey, and in yours as a parent.

Finally, remember that your love is the curriculum in this “Maa Ki Mamta Ka School.” With love as the basis, any lesson – whether academic like ABCs or life lessons like honesty and resilience – will find its mark. You have done a remarkable job through the 36-48 month stage. There will be days of doubt and days of confidence, but to your child, you are the best teacher and guide there is – irreplaceable and iridescent in your impact.

As your little one turns 4, give yourself credit for all the dedication and heart you’ve poured into these formative years. And give your child a warm hug of congratulations for all they have learned and how much they have grown – body, mind, and spirit.

The journey of parenting continues, with new chapters to write beyond this book. Keep the Unskoolify spirit alive: learn everywhere, love everywhere. In every challenge, find the lesson; in every day, find the joy. Maa ki mamta (a mother’s love) truly is the greatest school – one that graduates kind, skilled, and confident humans into the world.

Here’s to you and your little one – may you both keep growing, learning, and thriving. The school of life is just beginning!

– With heartfelt wishes and solidarity,

The Unskoolify Parenting Team

Sources:

1. CDC, “How Much Sleep Does a Preschooler Need?” – Preschoolers (3–5 years) need about 10–13 hours of sleep per day (including naps).

2. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org), “Developmental Milestones: 4-Year-Olds” – By age 4, children engage in imaginative play, can hop on one foot, and speak in full sentences.

3. UNICEF Early Childhood Development – Early experiences shape brain development; responsive

parenting (talking, singing, playing) is crucial for neural connections.

4. CDC Positive Parenting Tips – Encouraging independence (letting child help with chores, giving choices) builds confidence and skills.

5. AAP Positive Discipline Guidelines – Parents should use clear and consistent rules and avoid spanking or shaming; positive reinforcement is effective.

6. LinkedIn Article on Child Curiosity – Preschool children may ask around 300 questions a day,

especially “Why” questions, as a way to understand their world.

7. Montessori Principle – Children around 3–4 years seek autonomy; providing opportunities for

independence (self-dressing, choosing activities) aids their development. 29